Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
