Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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