News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Help. Why am I so naked?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
