that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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