I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
