Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
