Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
