In the future we'll all be gay
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize