so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
