Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize