After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
