Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
