what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
