You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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