I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
