does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
