I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
