Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
