I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
