I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
