Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize