I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
