Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
