You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
