this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
