I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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