She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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