I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
