Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
