he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My penis needs a shock collar
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
