You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
