If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
