Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
