no. you can't hotbox the world.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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