There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
