i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
