I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
