I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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