I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
