i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
