Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
