But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
