Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
