maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
