Whats the glycemic index on semen?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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