Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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