Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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