Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
