I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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