You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think my nap took me to another dimension
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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