last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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