i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My cat gives me a boner
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
