the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize