No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
