Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
