she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
