plz talk dirty to me
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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