very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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