so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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