Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
