I've blown a few things in my day
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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