I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize