I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
