A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
