I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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