She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
