I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
