It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
