I cannot find my penis.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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