physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize