You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
