Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
