accomplished twins. life is a go
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
